**Thoughts Of Taris** #43…
I know that I have been gone from blogging for a while. I want to appreciate you all for reading and commenting. I have been keeping myself away from commenting on blogging threads and going back into the “norm”……blahhhhh. Life is hitting me on the nail right now. I have not been focusing on my poetry. I have not been putting in the work that I should be putting in. I been writing half ass poems on receipt paper at work. I just feel like I am putting my job before anything else. Even though my job has been bringing me money, I don’t feel happy. Sometimes I wonder if others sees my unhappiness through the “fake happiness”. You get me?
I guess some people feel that I try to do so many things at once. “FAMILY MEMBERS”… Then, I miss out on “important things” and get sidetracked. Example, school and bus fare. I sometimes feel like everything I basically do is important. No matter what it is. I feel like I put up this role. This role of being happy of where I am at in life just to get through the day. It is good to be positive about life but, not to front in front off others who see right through you. Some people come to me and be like; oh you are always happy. Why are you down today? You are always giggling and being silly but, what is wrong? Then they think I all of a sudden have problems when I don’t. I am just being a human being. I am being a human being like everyone else. I have emotions that hit me daily and anger that is in me constantly. I guess that is apart of my gemini moodswings or what not. Or I guess that is “Taris” coming out which is my normal self, my other side is God’s Poetic Child. She shows out mainly all the time. You know like she is the good person and Taris is basically the bad person. I would not necessarily say the bad person. You know what I mean?
Keke Palmer explains those things in her book. How different artists has multiple personalities. When she said that I kind of thought that she was a gemini but, it is just an artist thing. She turns out to be a virgo. I mean that’s cool.
Well, I been reading this book. A book by someone who inspires me so much. Her attitude, her hustle, her style, her confidence, etc…..
The book is called. I Don’t Belong To You by Keke Palmer.
I am still in the process of reading it. I can relate to her emotionally and I do feel like I am connecting to her in the artist world. I mean her goals are different from mine but, she is an artist like me. When she signed my book last week. I felt something. I felt something deep. I don’t know what it was but, I felt it. I followed her (not in a stalkerish way) but, I followed her through her movies she was in. I listen to her music. I watched her Tv shows and everything. It is like you know she came from Harvey, IL. She acts so much like us it is crazy. When I say “Us”, I mean my generation in a whole.
She just reminds me of some people that I see at work sometimes or outside of work. I been thinking some things as I continue to read this book. By the way, I give this book 5 stars. Usually, I pick up a book and start reading and don’t finish. This book has me glued all the way in.
I am taking my time reading this. She talks about a lot of important things that I feel I need to know as an artist. She seem like cool people’s. Now, since I been reading this book. I tend to think about my gifts and what have I done so far with them. I have done a little but, not to much. And Keke Palmer has stated on facebook one time ” I rather do to much than to little.” I am like this girl got to have everything figured out by now. I have plenty of wants but, not a lot of do’s. You get me? I feel like I need to focus more on what I want so I can get what I need. I know for sure my gifts will make room for me and I have been talking to God lately or the universe. I feel like he hears me but, ehhhhh not often. I want to reach the young people just like Keke Palmer just in a different way. With my poetry. It is hard because I keep focusing on every body else’s blessings and blocking mine. No one knows how depressing this is. People say they will help me but, then they don’t help me. I can name a few but, I won’t be that bold. I am holding some of you other artists accountable for saying that to me. It just puts me back in square one. I NEED HELP. I NEED A MANAGER. I have been doing some self -reflecting. I need to do more. Being in school sometimes helps with that. I wish life was easy and people understood me. I feel like Keke sometimes. People won’t get to know Taris but, they get to know God’s Poetic Child and make assumptions about Taris from what she posts on facebook. You get me? So, it is like what if I did that to other artists on the poetry scence. It would make me look like an ass hole just like it makes them look like one. I will not name names. Well, I guess I have to become more organized with my wants and so, I can finally complete my do’s. Thanks to an awesome inspiration of mine, she made me realize that. I suggest any artist who is trying to make it. You got to pick up this book and read it sometime. These are my thoughts. Carry on peeps. !! Peace out!! 😘❤✌👌💤
**Thoughts Of Taris** #43…..